I am Numb, Scared & Helpless…

​An evening when I was just walking on the road after shopping things for me, 

I saw a road full of vehicles, traffic police on the corner, some vendors selling their things,

Some people walking on the pavements. 

A very crowded place, heard honking cars, people talking, some laughing, some eating by the stalls nearby, 

Some Men smoking cigarettes, 

Some Women talking and laughing on somethings,

The traffic police officer doing his work with great responsibility, &

I was listening to my favourite song on my headphones, and walking on the same street after shopping things for my best friend’s wedding. 

I was happy because I was done with the day and the day was good.

Suddenly,

In this crowded road, 

I stood still, 

I was now numb,

I was now scared, 

Everything around me went on a mute mode,

I was angry, 

I was fucking fucking angry but I stood there Numb, Scared and Helpless….

I had tears in my eyes, 

I was shivering,

You know why?
I just felt a hand on my Breast, & 

Someone just pressed it, 

So hard that I stopped breathing for a while, And he disappeared in that crowded Street. 
Some people saw this, 

Some people put their hand on their mouths, Some Men on the corner smoking their cigarettes stood still like I did. 

I sat on the corner of that road where a lady comes to me and offers me some water, 

She said, “Its Okay and Forget This.”
I looked at her and started walking, 

Hiding my breats with my shopping bags, 

I was still Numb, Scared and Helpless. 

I am angry, 

I am very very angry… 
Who the fuck gave him the right to touch me without my permission, 

I kept thinking, 

I kept killing that person in my imaginations again and again, 
I want to ask Men out here what do Men achieve when they do such things? 

Because I want to tell you what a women feels here, 

She feels RAPED, 

Does somebody needs more explanations from this?

Yes, I mean it ..

Yes, I also want to tell that Lady that I will tell the world about this, because it is not my fault that I should hide such a thing, If It’s Okay for any random Cheapster to do such a thing to a woman on the road it’s is absolutely Okay for me to talk about this in Public.

And Yes 

I am Very Angry.. 

I am Very Very Angry.

Still Numb, Scared and Helpless!!!!

I Am Okay…

​I can hear the melody of a flute and the music of the mountains,

Morning lights fills the sky and the valley with brightness and I am lost in

The talks we had last night and when I slept on the pillow you made for me out of clouds.

I don’t why those paths we walk on, turns so swiftly and we reach our destinations so early.

 I see the sun rising from the peak of that mountain. 

I see the golden glare on your face and feeling the cold morning winds from the glacier nearby,

I see your eyes filled with love, Your hands holding mine, and you kiss my forehead taking away all my fears, and make me a strong person.

You pick up all my scattered pieces and make a whole new person out of me &

I pick up your smell from every corner of this world, and wait for nights to fall and 

Wait for the dark sky to meet the stars,

Like we do every night…

We thought someday people will understand us but, No one heard us, 

No one felt the feeling of being restless and i think we were wrong to expect from them.

So now let us do something for ourselves.

Let us hold our hands and walk away for miles together,

Let us fight and let us make out like we did before,

Let us cry and laugh together, & believe no one is watching us.

Let us sleep in a small wooden cottage under the mountains, with a little fire side in the corner,

Felling the warmth in your arms, let me watch dreams for us, let me feel free from all the worries, let me feel the stars celebrating our union and the moon guarding us.

I dream of making a world for lovers like us, Where there will be only love and respect, Where little things will bring immense happiness,

Where the Nights keep Quite and the Mornings spread love

We thought someday people will understand us but, No one heard us, 

Its been Years we tried to move on and have kept up to find a love like us. And we fell because we could not find anyone like each other.

No one heard our story though 

I screamed, 

I cried & 

I fought with myself but still

I miss you my love, 

I can’t forget you my love,

My life is a half story of your absence, and it’s okay for me if I have to live like this, because

If I can love your presence, I can love you more and more in your absence.

Her Story That Night….

I lay every night in the darkness of my room, 

By midnight i have dreams about you,

Dreams of you and me together. 

And suddnely my eyes open, wide and I come back to the reality;

I stay awake whole night 

I hear the world turning into a silent desert.

And i see the world turning dark, 

Slowly my neighbours turn their door-lights off and all i can see, is nothing, 

Just a little reflection of the light from the tiny street light on my celieng fan.

My eyes wide open, lacking sleep,

I want to call you up, and ask you to lull me to sleep

Your breath sounds like a lullaby to me, 

Your chest makes me feel like warm blanket

Your arms around make me feel as i sit near the fire place of my room.

The winters have come, and oh how i miss being with you.

I see your latest pictures and believe me i see no spark in them, 

I see the smile is fake, &

Thats the reason which keeps me up whole night thinking of, 

How are you? 

How have you been? 

How’s life? 

Hows your family?

But everytime i try to ask, i know you wont be answering, because your guard is up and i don’t know why; and i never ask!

Its been a long time i havent seen you around, and all of that which goes around in my mind,

I shed some tears, crib about life to myself  and by this time I realize that the little reflection of the street light starts disappearing as the Sun begin to rise!!

Flash back!!

​They will meet someday on the path they had first met.

Eyes locked into each other, 

Heart beats growing faster, 

Visualizing in a moment of what they had been with each other. 

When they used to hold hands and walk on these roads

Without thinking of the world

Just as they were sitting in their closed shell when together 

Just both of them accompanied by the comfort they shared

And their true love which

they had buried in their deepest part of their souls; 

That Would come out on that day,

When they will meet someday on the path they had first met

But this time not as Lovers but as Strangers..

I hear my name in your whispers…

​As the morning tears me and you apart

After a beautiful last night, 

I hear the birds chirping and the rivers flowing,

I smell the dew on my skin, 

I look at you sleeping next to me under the hills.

How i remember 

Every inch of your skin, adding life to my skin. 

Breaths turning warm and i started melting in front of you. 

You undressed me with grace and your fingers slips on my

 back, 

You held me tight against you

And I want to spend my life like that with you. 

I love you and your divine soul, 

I love the vibe you gave when you touched my soul. 

Breathing in and breathing out, 

Fumes turning into flames in this beautiful night under this starry skies. 

I smell the mountains when you breathe right on my neck, 

Your stubble gave me an ich on my cheek, 

Which i am in love with. 

I hear my name in your whispers followed by the “i love you’s”.

I have those little tears my in eyes and

You wipe them off with a smile, 

I feel your hand on my forehead as you make your way in me. 

Holding me tight me in your arms under this beautiful starry sky, 

Slowly I love, I believe and Slowly

I Breathe In You & Breathe Myself Out!!

Another Angry Voice..

​This is to all the stereo type men and society who think they all are  very cool to accept the modern women.

Dear husbands, men, in laws and the entire society.

I think its high time someone needs to speak up.

Who says that after marriage a woman’s only duty is to take care of the house and after being a mother, a kid needs all her time? Let me tell one thing dear women of this society who thinks in this way, you spent your whole time behind your kids, do they have time for you like you did the whole day? And when kids like me grow up and say that hey no mom/dad i can’t be there i have got work/party/meeting to attend, what do you feel? You feel sad, angry, and typically thinking in your head that we did so much for them, and they can’t spare a little time for us, and this leads to insecurity and depression. Its not that we don’t love you, we are just living the one you wanted us to be. 

And so i don’t want to spend all my time crushing all my dreams for the people who don’t understand my dreams and passions.

Dear husbands, you know what, i got married to you so that we can have a better life Together not because i can be a supporting actress in your life, and in return all in reward i get to hear things like ultimately what do you do? I go out and earn and you will NOT UNDERSTAND how much inputs are needed. The typical male question, whom do i do all this for? Lemme answer that one now, you are just proving that you are none other than other men on this planet. Trying to prove that you are capable just like your dad was, living their dreams, but u know what, for your dreams you ask me to sacrifice my dreams and passions. And i do it. And as time passes i forget that i had dreams for me too because now i have to take care of you and your family and our kid.  

But to be honest its high time now, 

It is okay for a wife to travel for work alone, and people say what a husband.. bravo, cheers to him!!!

And If that wife says am going on trip with my friends, and you are not okay! Why?

Fucking hypocrisy! !

Look husbands, we are grown up women. We know what is right and what is wrong and even beyond it.

Don’t let us hate ourselves.  Don’t let us regret on our decision of getting married to you, we love you and want to always.. 

We don’t need to ask for any permissions from you neither your family nor my family.

I am not the only one who has to make sacrifices.

And yeah its not at all important for you to travel with me, i am not asking for that, because i don’t need bodygaurds for me.

And i no more want to travel on honeymoon packages. 

Someday i might just go on solo trip and you keep finding me. I know those doors will be always closed for me. But to be honest i might wont even care at that time. Like you run behind your dreams i might too…

In fact dear husbands and in laws, try and understand i will be happy if you accept me with all this.. like i am asked to accept you with whatever you have!!!

My Boobs Are Not The Only Best Thing I Have…

​I need feminism, i mean it. 

In a genuine way i need feminism.

DO YOU HEAR THAT!!

Being a little girl, i was taught that boys will be boys, and girls are not  toys… where does this come from?

Being in school, boys played in the ground where i was asked to sit properly in that skirt. 

Being in college, boys whistled at me,and i was asked to look down and walk off quietly, because if i took it as a compliment i was to be called a slut!!

Why is this society male dominant?

And why is it growing strong, just because girls like me ask for feminism and its anti-man!!

Why is that, a boy cant cook and girl can work in office and cook?

Just because the world has higher hopes for my brother/husband!

Why is that a boy is the king and the girl is always her daddy’s princess, and am just supposed to look good for the men to see me!

Is it acceptable for a guy to smack my butt, and its totally fucking my fault if a guy rapes me? Fucking my fault if wish to wear something in which i look Sexyy?

Is it Because i am doing much better than men can!! Because i look Sexy than a man?

I need feminism because if i act masculine, I am a bloody fucking freako!!

I need feminism because i want people to know that my boobs are not the only best quality i have. 

I need feminism because i am not a house maid after marriage, nor am an owned property of my husband. Nor am being paid to keep the house clean. I do it because i think its my home and not my work place. 

I need feminism, not to do mishandle anything.

I need feminism because before being a female i am a human.

I am not slave born in houses, i am not trophy by which your family credits will raise in the society, am born to live for myself and not for you, i love people around me, yes i am emotional, yet am strong. Yes am fat, ugly, moronic, dark, but i am a human. I dont have to show off my qualities to prove my stand here, i am a Woman.

However i am, I am Bold, Sexy and Super Beautiful!!

&

I need feminism to be heard and because i want people to genuinely believe in EQUALITY. . . . 

Rains…

It rained today,

The world seemed so beautiful.

So fresh.

As if the land has just been showered by enormous love.

The way the droplets fell,

It reminded me of the old me,

The way i fell in love with you 

And after you left,

I scattered into millions pieces.

And today, watching this rain

I now know that each scattered piece of me still loves you more than ever…

Let’s Take A Time Leap!

Come close to me and never go away from me.

Come lets take a time leap and watch a life after this life.

How crazy that would be?

We’ll again hear the noise of these waves.

We’ll again talk about our lives before each other.

Come close to me and never go away from me.

We’ll see the stars over our heads.

We’ll dive in the depth of this night.

And feel the breeze of this sea again on our faces.

We’ll again feel those goosebumps like the first time we were together.

We’ll clutch our fingers into each others and promise again of being together.

Come close to me and never go away from me

Come lets watch a life after this life.

And see how crazy its gonna be!!

A Daughter Who Cried!

A girl cried in front of her parents for her life, and her parents shoved her off, Dint they love her?

Midnight she came back from her husband’s house with her 2 year old son. Bruises on her face, and a broken limb. Pleading for help, she was beaten up by him. Her parents took her in the house and consoled her. She felt safe. And was comforted. Next morning she woke up, her parents asked her to leave and stay with her husband and try to understand his needs and be the one he wants her to be. She fought, she said no, she cannot live with that monster, he is terrible, he will kill me. He locks me up in the bathroom and opens it after 2 days. My son is just 2 years old, he cries all night and i cant be with him. He comes home drunk and beats me and my son, i cant take it anymore, i am tired. I cant take it, i am scared of him. I get hurt, i get bruises which pains. Everything she said, was unheard. Her father got up and asked her mother to explain her what is a life without a husband. Her mother did the needful. She was not convinced. She wanted to get rid of him, she wanted to be free. But it did not happen. She was sent back to her husband forcefully. Threatened her by the name of the society, tantrums like her mother would die if she wont leave, her father will have a heart attack if she gets divorced. Who will marry her younger sister? Everything will be ruined. And its all because of her.

She is sent back home. After a few years, everything is okay, she started living with a monster considering the consequences her family had to face because of her. She kept quite. But then one day she spoke, she said, ‘Understand nobody except you will face your life and your problems.  And you are on your own in this world. Not even a single person would stand up for you in your worst. People want to hear good things for them, nobody takes shit, so even you don’t. If you are a women try to take your stands. Don’t take shit in your life. And the last thing she said was, i love you mom and dad, but i think you love the society more than your daughter. You let me die in that monster’s den. You ruined my life and my son’s life. Yes i blame you, because even am a parent and i know how it feels when your kid is all alone to fight in front of the odds. I will not let this happen to my child.’ This was the last time she spoke, this was her goodbye note. She left everyone in search of a better life.!!